It's no secret that when major life changes occur, marital relations can suffer. Whether it's a new baby, a new job or in my case, a quickly approaching move, the nookie totally disappears. It's never anyone's intention for this to happen...It just kind of does. Passion and libido take a backseat to stress and the urge to run around wildly like a chicken with its head cut off.
Lately, there has been no adult playtime in my home. To be brutally honest and transparent, I think it's been close to a month since we did the dirty. That's probably the longest we've ever gone without enjoying each other in the Biblical sense. Shoot, even after Sophie was born, there was sexual activity in the hospital room just a few hours after my cesarean. (Ouch!) While it was definitely fun, I wouldn't recommend this practice. My husband totally took advantage of the fact that I was still under the influence of whatever mind-numbing drugs were included in my anesthesia!
Anyway, to put it bluntly, this Mama isn't getting any right now. And you know what? Shockingly enough, I don't care. Yep. I said it. I don't care one bit. Even my faithful old friend, the Hitachi Magic Wand, isn't seeing any action. In fact, I don't even know where it is right now. In the past, I would have seriously posted LOST signs throughout my neighborhood if my trusty BOB got lost. But right now, I just don't care.
Should I be worried? At 31 years old, have I turned into a sexless, dried-up spinster who is destined to find tumbleweeds in her nether regions? I don't think so. I think that being an adult has just set in completely. I mean, I have 2 toddlers, as well as a solemn, swarthy preteen. The demands of motherhood take up a great deal of my time. I am always busy kissing boo-boo's, chasing away scary frogs that my daughter seems to be terrified of, cleaning up after my toddlers rip through my home like a hurricane, and acting as a short order cook.
Plus, we are about to close on our first home, which we are paying for in cash. This is awesome for us, since we will be able to give our kids fantastic lives, full of opportunities since we won't have a mortgage payment. The kids want to go to the amusement park? Sure! Swimming lessons? Tae Kwon Do? No problem? Concert tickets to see Lady Gaga in all of her glory? Hmm...Well, we'll see about that....
We're also moving to my hometown in Ohio, which has a ton of things to do for families and a real sense of community. Our new home is mere blocks from the riverfront where multiple festivals and events are held throughout the year. We're also close to several parks, as well as 2 waterparks! (An indoor park for winter and another outdoor park for summer play!)
But in the meantime, it also means packing our home and our ungodly amount of "stuff", coordinating schedules for moving, setting up utility and cable accounts, and planning for necessary home improvements like getting central air installed. I also have to enroll my 12 year old in school, find out bus schedules, and plan for registering our vehicles in Ohio. And the list of adult responsibilities goes on and on and on....
Of course, I am the one who needs to do about 95% of these things. My husband works long hours, and cannot accomplish what I can in a day. He comes home, plays with the kids, eats, has a beer or 2, and packs. All of the details rest on my shoulders. So needless to say, by the end of the day, I am pooped. Getting my freak on is the absolute LAST thing I am concerned with right now....And my husband basically feels the same. He falls asleep before I do most evenings!
Does this mean the end of romance? Not if I can help it! After all, a vixen still lives here somewhere....She's simply hiding underneath piles of boxes and packing paper. Once we're settled into our new home, I am sure she'll emerge. If I am lucky, perhaps she'll be holding the Shunga Body Slide we've had collecting dust on the shelves for the past few months. This is like a sensual, adult slip and slide and would make a great way to Christen our new home. Bom-Chicky-Wow-Wow!
Have you ever experienced complete lack of libido during stressful transitions? How'd you get the spark back? I'd love to hear!
***Disclosure: I am receiving a gift card in exchange for writing this post. As always, all opinions are 100% honest and have not been influenced in any way.***