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Newly Crunchy
by 
Brandy Nelson

K-Y Brand Intimacy Experiment Day 2~It's NOT All About The Nookie!

2/27/2011

3 Comments

 
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Yes, this picture is ridiculous....I am a very pregnant Super-Woman, and Dan is what else? A ninja! This was taken on Halloween. Yep, we were the nerdy, overly enthusiastic parents that dressed up right along with the kiddies. Did we get strange looks? Probably. Did I feel more than a little bit retarded? Definitely. But we didn't care, because we may be silly, but we're great at being silly together. And that is what day 2 of the K-Y Brand Intimacy Experiment is all about. Connections that are made outside of the bedroom. Doing things together as a couple, no matter how small, can help keep you emotionally connected to one another. When was the last time you cooked a meal with your spouse? Held hands in the grocery store? Had a pillow fight? (Okay, if you're not goofy like we are, maybe a pillow fight isn't the best example,lol.) Do you hug and kiss your partner in a non-sexual way regularly? All of these little, often over-looked activities promote what is known as "transferable" desire. All of these things add up over time, and while they may not seem sexual, they create an abundance of transferable desire, which in turn helps fuel sexual desire. To put it in plain English, if you're happy and fulfilled in your relationship outside of the bedroom, you're more likely to want to do the naughty IN the bedroom! Makes sense, right? I know when Dan ticks me off, I don't want his paws all over me. But when we have fun together, and take the time to really communicate and connect outside the bedroom, it's all systems go once we hit the sheets. This isn't exactly rocket science, but it's amazing how often these little things that bring a couple together can be put on the back burner or even forgotten while dealing with the stresses of everyday life.

You know how when you get a nice, long hug or some lip-action you experience a "high"? You get filled with what I like to call the warm fuzzies. Well, there is a scientific reason for that! When we have positive physical touch, our brain releases a chemical called Oxytocin. It's a natural, feel good hormone that brings on feelings of emotional and physical pleasure. FYI: Oxytocin is also released during childbirth, breastfeeding, arousal, and during orgasm. So you know what I'm talking about! It's the GOOD stuff! ;)

So today's daytime assignment was easy-peasy for us. We had to write in our journal about whether or not we feel we have a transferable relationship, and then asked if we, as a couple, do the following things on a regular basis. (I think we've got this part down! I will include my answers, just to show how much we actually do on a regular basis!)
  • Hug/embrace: We do this all the time. You know that touchy-feely couple you just wanna choke? Yep. That's us!
  • Hold hands: Okay, this one we don't do as often as we should. Maybe because we're always holding babies!
  • Kiss: I would say we kiss at least 20+ times per day. Yes, really.
  • Say "I love you": We do this constantly. Several times a day. That's something you can never say too much of, in my humble opinion.
  • Call during the day to say "hi" or check in: Dan does this every day before he comes home to see if I need anything. When he was away on business recently, he called whenever he wasn't in his seminar and chose to stay in the hotel and talk to me rather than go out. What can I say, he's a good guy!
  • Compliment each other: Okay....My husband isn't good at this! He does it, but not as regularly as I'd like. I get way more compliments out of him than his crazy ex-wife did, though, and that's (almost) good enough for me! He's just more physical than verbal and expresses things with tons of hugs and kisses rather than with words.
  • Email each other: We never do this, but we don't need to do this. Plus Dan isn't behind a computer that is e-mail capable while he's working. So I guess this one doesn't apply to us.
  • Eat meals together: We do this daily.
  • Take the time to talk about our day: We do this everyday, as well. Even though my days are none too interesting lately.
  • Do chores together: We actually do this! My hubby is in here talking to me now while he sorts and folds the laundry. We do everything together! Oh, and yes, he does dishes, changes poopy diapers, etc...I am willing to rent him out. Fees are negotiable! :)
  • Go out on regular date nights: Yeah, I WISH we could do this. But money is super-tight and we have 2 babies. So dates are pretty non-existent. We usually end up getting take-out and chilling here at home.
  • Watch TV or read the paper together: Okay. This to me is NOT quality couple time. I HATE the TV. My husband gets WAY too involved in it, and tends to ignore everything else around him. I am a firm believer that one of the absolute best ways to promote romance is to SHOOT YOUR TV. And as far as reading the paper together goes, well, I have internet. I don't need no stinkin' paper!
  • Socialize with other people together: Yep. Pretty much every time we socialize, it's together. We basically have the same friends, for the most part, and the ones that aren't common friends don't live locally. Also, we have an agreement that neither one of us goes to a bar or anywhere that alcohol is involved without the other. Not to mention he has no desire anymore to go out to bars or clubs. He did a TON of that for years, and got bored with it. We don't see friends as often as we'd like, but it's hard with the kids and his work schedule.
  • Participate in hobbies together: Yep. Got this covered.
  • Go on vacations together: Vacation? What's that? I'll tell you what....if anyone would like to PAY for said vacation, I would be more than happy to take one with the hubby. But until then, we're too broke to go anywhere!
So according to the K-Y Intimacy Experiment guide, of you participate in at least half of these activities on a regular basis, chances are you've got a good emotional connection in your relationship. I would say we're in pretty good shape here! I guess that's what happens when you're married to your best friend!


Stay tuned tomorrow for day 3 of the K-Y Brand Intimacy Experiment!

For more information about the Intimacy Experiment, make sure to check out K-Y Brand's Facebook Page, Couples Place.

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate. All opinions expressed in this article are my own and not influenced in any way by anyone.

3 Comments
Tawna link
2/28/2011 11:22:33 am

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