So life has been a bit different now that Xander has been born. When Sophie was born a year ago, it was easier. She was the only "baby" in the house. (I do have a 10 year old, but if he heard me call him my BABY, he would just cringe,lol) Now, we have 2 babies...Twice the diapers, twice the bottles, and having to adapt again to the up every 2-3 hours schedule of a newborn. (Although we're having some success in weaning the Sophie-Monster. It is a challenge when she sees her baby brother with his bottle, though, and she decides SHE wants one, too.) It has been a difficult adjustment. Dan works long hours, and I am home all day with the babies taking care of their needs, trying to take care of my home and make sure things are running smoothly, helping my 10 year old with his various homework and projects, and recovering from a C-section all at the same time. Most days I am lucky if I get a chance to even take a shower before the hubby gets home!So instead of being greeted by an attractive, put together woman, he is greeted by me, usually in my Pajama Jeans (don't hate, you know you want a pair!) with my hair in a messy bun or ponytail, no make-up on, usually covered in some form of baby-goo and to complete the look, I am generally sporting that New Mom Smell rather than my usual Sicily by Dolce & Gabbana,lol... Not that I am complaining....I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world! But it is DIFFERENT. Especially in the romance department....It seems that whenever me and Dan try and have any couple time,which let's face it, with 2 babies is hard enough to do in itself, one of the babies inevitably needs something. So instead of being able to snuggle up with the hubby, we have a "group snuggle session" and we each end up with a baby on one arm. And sometimes, after a long day, we both just collapse, too darn tired to do anything other than just veg...or pass out. I know that once Xander is sleeping through the night, things will get exponentially easier. This is just a period of adjustment. But at times, I really feel that on becoming a mommy of 2 kids well under the age of 2, I have somehow given up being a wife, at least temporarily. This is distressing to me. I am a firm believer that one of the absolute BEST things parents can do for their kids is to maintain a happy marriage. I want to do things to remain connected to my husband and to find ways to please him, but at the current moment, it seems that all of my time and energy is consumed by being a mother. I know he understands. I know he still loves me. Heck, I am blessed enough to have a man that comes home and willingly scoops up his babies, changes poopy diapers, and snuggles and plays with them. He GETS it. I will go as far as saying he relishes in it. I have never seen a more involved or more loving daddy! But as Valentine's Day rapidly approaches, I am trying to find something...ANYTHING...I can do for him to show him he is still just as appreciated and loved not just as the father of my babies, but as a man and as my husband. And I want to give him a glimpse of his wife back, too, rather than the messy-haired,milk-smelling,exhausted zombie woman I have become in the past month or so.... Any ideas? Has anyone else gone through this before? How did you remain connected to your spouse while taking care of 2 infants? I would love your feedback!
I wish I had some suggestions for you, but I am still stumped as to what to do for my husband too, and his birthday is on the 10th to add to the confusion! I love your blog, I am a new follower, stop by my blog http://sew-chic-designs.blogspot.com/ when you have time to follow back! Good luck and keep us posted on everything!
2/8/2011 07:25:11 am
Think about this: as women, we're put on this earth to be wives and mommies. God has blessed us with many gifts to aid both of these jobs. Perhaps the greatest gift you give Dan as a wife is for him to see you being a great mother to his children. I'm sure he remembers the adjustment period your home went through with Sophie and is equally appreciative this time around. Just as you're thinking of doing things for him, I'm sure he's wondering if there is any more he can help you with.
2/15/2011 10:49:24 pm
I know it is a tough time, I remember the exhaustion and the recovery from a c-section. Been there, done that! I know that V.day has just passed, but it's never too late to say I love you. Maybe take one night to have someone watch the kids and have an adult dinner, in or out! I used to try to make a "red" meal for hubby on V.day, but sometimes just having an uninterrupted meal is enough to re-connect. I've also realized that if I don't shower first thing in the am, it doesn't happen!
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply.
PR Friendly Mama!
I'm Brandy, a happily married, proud Mom of 3 amazing kids. If you're interested in building a working relationship, please feel free to e-mail me at: NewlyCrunchyMamaOf3@gmail.com
Links We Love :