So I am sure that with his newly-found astronomical obsession, he has wondered what it would be like to send his parents off to space to live among the aliens at least once. I mean, what kid his age wouldn't? Without Mom, there wouldn't be anyone to tell him to do his chores or make sure his homework is completed in a satisfactory manner.There wouldn't be anyone telling him his hair is getting too long and is in desperate need of a trim. There wouldn't be bedtimes or mandatory showers, and he could eat ramen noodles for dinner every night instead of having to choke down REAL food, which of course includes vegetables. Without Mom, there would be no rules.
In my own defense, I think that if I were to get abducted by little green men and sent to some far off world, there ARE some things that my son would miss. He may not want to admit that, though, since it might just ruin his image, haha. Here are the top 10 things I think my son would miss about me if I were abducted by aliens:
- Clean socks and underwear. Without me to wash them, they would inevitable become so crunchy they could walk themselves to the washing machine. But without fingers, they of course wouldn't be able to push the START button, therefore they wouldn't get cleaned. Ever. And that just wouldn't be good.
- Someone to complain to. Kids love to complain, and if I weren't around, he would only have his dog or his baby brother and sister to complain to....and none of them really speak English (yet), so they're not the best conversationalists.
- He would miss my charming, often corny personality. He needs someone to laugh at! And moms make great butts for the best of jokes!
- He would miss the Cincinnati Chili that only I know how to make properly.
- He would miss hugs. He may not readily admit that, but even as a 5th grade pre-teen, when he has a bad day and no one is looking, he does still seek out a good Mommy hug every now and then.
- He would miss getting rides in my nice, used Mercedes. He gets carted around in style. And he obviously cannot drive. So No Mom=No Ride.
- He would miss having someone around to answer his sometimes bizarre questions. Things that no one on the face of the planet would readily have an answer to. I am always willing to entertain his requests, even if it means consulting Google.
- He would miss having his own personal cheerleader, who always believes in him and encourages him in all of his endeavors.
- He would miss electricity and running water. Yes, my husband makes the money to pay the bills, but I am the one who manages the money and makes sure things get paid. The hubby has a terrible memory, so without me, these things just would not get done.
- Most of all, I think he would miss just having me around. Not because I am the world's greatest mom or because I always let him do what he wants. (I certainly don't.) He would miss me because as imperfect as I may be, you only get one mother, and I was blessed enough to be put onto this earth to be his. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it!
So I think that while the idea of having his mom shipped off to some distant planet might sound like a lot of fun at first, he would quickly realize that without his mom, things just don't work. There would be no one there to share his secrets with or to talk about his day with, there would be no fluffy towels fresh out of the way, and there wouldn't be those hugs he claims he doesn't even want anymore. But he knows as well as I do that Mommy hugs are the BEST....as long as his friends aren't there to see!
I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms blogging program, for a gift card worth $25. For more information on how you can participate, click here