We rarely get quality couple time together, and honestly, I feel pretty lonely at times. I am a very shy person, and spend all day with my beautiful babies. While they are wonderful, they're certainly not the best conversationalists! I don't really know too many people locally that I can get together and socialize with, and most of my good friends live in other states. It has always been a real struggle for me to meet new people, more than likely because I am so shy. So I guess you could say I have been pretty lonesome and down lately. I can't really expect my husband to understand how this feels, since he isn't in my position as a stay at home mom, but it is pretty depressing at times. Especially when he comes home, stares at the TV and unwinds, plays with the kids, eats dinner, and falls asleep. In that order. Like clockwork, on a daily basis.
So I think it's pretty safe to say, romance has become a stranger here lately. Mama's not getting any loving at all. And I don't just mean in the bedroom, either. (Although I can feel tumbleweeds starting to form down below from lack of use, even as I write this now.) There just seems to be a disconnection lately. Sure, we love each other. Sure, we're happy together. We're not having any marital problems. It seems that LIFE has just gotten in the way of being able to express our feelings and desires to one another lately. All of the responsibilities that come along with being an adult and a parent have allowed our relationship with each other to be put on the back-burner.
Well, my husband somehow managed to get a 3 day weekend this week. So that means I will be spending Saturday, Sunday AND Monday with him. Well, him and the babies...My oldest will be with his dad this weekend. I am hoping that having 3 full days together might just help rekindle some of the romance that has gotten lost somewhere among countless dirty diapers, piles of laundry, and the never ending stack of bills that must be paid. But how can I achieve this without setting myself up for disappointment?
Maybe I will break out some candles and we can crack open the bottle of champagne that has been collecting dust for the past month. I might prepare his favorite dinner, Chicken Cordon Bleu, along with a nice green salad and a loaded baked potato and have some real conversation over dinner for a change. And once the babies are asleep, some truffles, a little bubbly and some nice music may just remind us that we're more than just parents and providers...
Or perhaps my husband will still remain in sleepy, zombie mode and I will have to turn to some sexy lingerie to help get him in the mood and remind him that I am still female. I have a ton of costumes that have yet to be worn, so perhaps as I do some housework a French Maid persona would be in order. Or maybe even a referee costume during one of the preseason NFL games. Or maybe I will keep it simple and just wear a pretty chemise.
If he's responsive to all of the above, maybe I can even get him to play one of the great couple's games I got from EdenFantasys. I love the Cosmo's Steamy Sex Games adult game I got a few months ago. With a ton of different games in one little box, there's no chance of boredom!
Or maybe we'll end up not knowing how to reconnect as a couple. Maybe the romance IS gone. This is my biggest fear. Maybe I will spend 3 whole days with my husband and not know how to interact with him one on one anymore. Maybe we won't have anything to talk about except the kids, chores and other responsibilities that every day life demands. Maybe once there are babies in the home, passion becomes a distant memory...at least until they're not so little anymore. Or maybe the loneliness of being a stay at home mom in a town where I don't know anyone and having a husband that is always worn out is finally just taking its toll on me. I just know that I need to get out of this funk, and this weekend, I am certainly going to try and do just that. I have a wonderful husband and a great marriage. I just need to learn how to make sure we still have time for each other, despite everything else that has to be taken care of.
Have any of you experienced anything similar in your marriages after the babies came? What did you do to reconnect as a couple and reignite the spark in your relationship? Any ideas? I'd love to hear them!
***Disclosure: I received a gift card for writing this post. All opinions are 100% honest and have not been influenced in any way.***