I Just Realized....
Okay, not ancient...I'm not starting to look like Joan Rivers or anything. But I'm not young, either. I will be 33 next month, and for some reason, this just doesn't seem real to me.
It seems that it wasn't too terribly long ago that I was a rebellious teen on auto-pilot down the path to self-destruction. A mall rat hanging out with a rough crowd, doing things I'd never, ever in a thousand years allow my own kids to get away with. It seems like yesterday. Really, it does.
33. Okay. As a number itself, it doesn't seem that bad. 33 is not 50, and it's WAY less than 100. And compared to a BILLION, it's an insignificant speck of a number.
But, when you're talking human lifespan, 33 is definitely a full-grown adult. Jesus died at 33, I believe. (Don't necessarily quote me on that. While I believe in God and have plenty of faith, I do not subscribe to any specific religion.) So assuming that He lived for 33 years, Jesus was able to live more than any of us ever will. If you believe in Jesus' existence, of course.
33. Wow. Some of my favorite artists died younger than 33. In fact, all of the following died at just 27 years old. Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse....They led very full (and yes, destructive) lives, and experienced more in their short life than I ever have.
33 years. In that time, I suppose I have experienced a lot. My childhood and teen years weren't so great, and I went through a lot of things no kid ever should.....As a very young adult, I was in an incredibly abusive marriage. But the dark periods of my life have taught me to be stronger, wiser, and kinder.
I have a wonderful old home to restore and raise my family in, and it's located in my little hometown, the only place I've ever wanted to be.
I am married to my best friend and the love of my life. Now I DID know him when I was a kid, and it just occurred to me that he's old, too!
I have a teenager I couldn't be more proud of, even though teens are horrid creatures with nasty temperments at times. My baby is going to high school this fall. How did that little boy with a baby face and big blue eyes turn into a young man? Where did my snuggle-buddy go, and why has he been replaced by this person who is taller than me, who I can't scoop up into my arms anymore?
And my little ones. Sophie and Xander. I joke and say that I had them when I was "old enough to have a baby". (I had my oldest at almost 19.) My little ones definitely benefit from the fact that Mommy is a bit wiser with age. I am a bit of a helicopter mom, and I try and make the best decisions for our family, like choosing organic foods and natural household products. When I was younger, I didn't give a second thought to things like this. I guess age, along with becoming a mother, changed me.
But seriously....Where do all the years go? How does time fly by so quickly? How do we change as human beings without even realizing it? I feel like the same person I was as a teen, but I know that I am incredibly different. My values have changed...My thought-process has changed...My heart has changed. And it happened without me even noticing it.
Okay. So 33. I guess it's not too bad, after all.
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