See that chick with crazy, ombre looking hair? (Really, I just needed my roots done DESPERATELY,lol) That's me. I am 33 years old, happily married to a man I have known literally most of my life, and I have 3 absolutely wonderful children. I bought a great old house in my little Ohio hometown, which is the only place that has ever felt like home, and I did so in cash. (Hooray for no mortgage!) I have a ton of blessings, and I do not take them for granted. I am thankful every single day for all of the good things in my life.
Lately, I have been in a funk, and not the Uptown kind. Of course if my Bruno wants to come sing me Uptown Funk, I am more than game....I absolutely adore that man. That is another post entirely, though.
Wait. Who am I kidding? This is more than a funk. A funk is something found on my preschoolers' clothing, that can be washed away with a quick trip to the washing machine. A funk is usually blessedly temporary, however unpleasant it may be.
I can't lie. This is no simple funk. My depression has come back, in full force, and has been emotionally and physically draining me for the past 6 months or so. I cry every single day, sometimes multiple times. I can't sleep worth a damn, and I have become even more introverted, if that's even possible. Just accomplishing simple things like cooking meals or cleaning the house has become incredibly difficult for me lately. I have literally zero motivation to do anything, really. I feel tired. Worn out. Sad. Worthless. Unwanted. Unappreciated. Ugly. And I don't know how to shake it.
People ask me a lot, "Why are you depressed? What happened?"
Well, the answer to that isn't so simple. Nothing really happened, per-se. Other than stressing a bit more about money issues, things have been pretty routine.
Routine. Hmm....Maybe that is the problem, exactly. Things have become entirely too routine.
You see, although I technically have my "Happily Ever After", sometimes I'm not very happy at all. It's no one's fault. Life just happens, you know?